Kenapalah dengan aku ni. Can't you just forget about him? Just let him go and just move on. You can't always be like this. Come on! He have his own life and you...!! Can't you just forget it? Stop thinking about him and please try to avoid thinking about him. Arghhh....!!!
Seriously stress level tahap apa. Aku dari dulu sampai sekarang masalah aku tu je la. Tak ada yang lain. Asyik la pasal cintan-cintun ni. Sekarang ni aku rasa lagi teruk kot. Lagi teruk time aku crush dekat Nabil. For this time aku tak tahu apa yang menyebabkan aku payah nak lupakan dia. Maybe sebab aku selalu stalk dia kot. Opss... Hahahaha... I just don't know. My feeling towards him just for sympathy or I really love him. Sebab bila aku tengok instagram dia, he always said the sadness things. Sampai kekadang tu aku rasa macam down jugak bila baca all the post there. And when I read it, I think that he need someone to love him and aku dengan bermurah hati nak tolong dia untuk buat dia rasa happy with his life. Aku nak tengok dia tersenyum. Bukan mask yang tersenyum. Faham tak maksud aku? Aku rasa dia tu... arghhh.. this is not sympathy right?? Aku bukan tak kesiankan dia tapi rasa dalam hati aku tu lagi berat pada... Contoh... Dia cakap "Kau tak akan rasa that moments is important until you missing them." Ayat yang lebih kurang macam tu la. And I actually know that his lover died past few years ago. Time tu dia macam tengah hangat bercinta dengan arwah. He seems like that he truly fall in love with arwah. So, I think he was lonely. Sebab dia jenis suka travel and arwah selalu travel dengan dia. Means here, arwah tu senang je orangnya. Maybe because they have the same hobby. And bila dia post something like ayat dekat atas tadi tu, aku rasa macam, "Weh... tolong la jangan sedih-sedih." Aku tak cakap aku kesian ke apa. But aku risau he might fall into something bad such as stress or else depression. Tu yang aku fikir. And aku terfikir kalaulah aku boleh ganti tempat arwah...Yeah...its not like aku nak dia ganti arwah dalam hati dia. Tapi more pada kalau la aku mampu untuk bahagiakan dia macam arwah pernah buat dulu. Its more like that. Aku rasa sedih when I see that post. If he was happy then I will happy too. Entah la. Sometimes aku terfikir yang aku ni memang betul-betul sukakan dia. Sebab aku macam boleh rasa apa dia rasa. Mungkin akan ada orang kata this is nonsense but that things happen to me. Adakah aku ni dah buta atau apa? Dia tak mungkin pandang aku. Dia dah tolak aku pun. Apa lagi yang aku harapkan lagi? Pada dia, pandangan dia pada aku, I'm just a stranger to him. Nothing. So, buat apa aku nak mengharap lagi kan? Tapi hati ni degil. Nak juga rasa sakit tu. Nak juga ambik tahu pasal dia.
Seriously stress level tahap apa. Aku dari dulu sampai sekarang masalah aku tu je la. Tak ada yang lain. Asyik la pasal cintan-cintun ni. Sekarang ni aku rasa lagi teruk kot. Lagi teruk time aku crush dekat Nabil. For this time aku tak tahu apa yang menyebabkan aku payah nak lupakan dia. Maybe sebab aku selalu stalk dia kot. Opss... Hahahaha... I just don't know. My feeling towards him just for sympathy or I really love him. Sebab bila aku tengok instagram dia, he always said the sadness things. Sampai kekadang tu aku rasa macam down jugak bila baca all the post there. And when I read it, I think that he need someone to love him and aku dengan bermurah hati nak tolong dia untuk buat dia rasa happy with his life. Aku nak tengok dia tersenyum. Bukan mask yang tersenyum. Faham tak maksud aku? Aku rasa dia tu... arghhh.. this is not sympathy right?? Aku bukan tak kesiankan dia tapi rasa dalam hati aku tu lagi berat pada... Contoh... Dia cakap "Kau tak akan rasa that moments is important until you missing them." Ayat yang lebih kurang macam tu la. And I actually know that his lover died past few years ago. Time tu dia macam tengah hangat bercinta dengan arwah. He seems like that he truly fall in love with arwah. So, I think he was lonely. Sebab dia jenis suka travel and arwah selalu travel dengan dia. Means here, arwah tu senang je orangnya. Maybe because they have the same hobby. And bila dia post something like ayat dekat atas tadi tu, aku rasa macam, "Weh... tolong la jangan sedih-sedih." Aku tak cakap aku kesian ke apa. But aku risau he might fall into something bad such as stress or else depression. Tu yang aku fikir. And aku terfikir kalaulah aku boleh ganti tempat arwah...Yeah...its not like aku nak dia ganti arwah dalam hati dia. Tapi more pada kalau la aku mampu untuk bahagiakan dia macam arwah pernah buat dulu. Its more like that. Aku rasa sedih when I see that post. If he was happy then I will happy too. Entah la. Sometimes aku terfikir yang aku ni memang betul-betul sukakan dia. Sebab aku macam boleh rasa apa dia rasa. Mungkin akan ada orang kata this is nonsense but that things happen to me. Adakah aku ni dah buta atau apa? Dia tak mungkin pandang aku. Dia dah tolak aku pun. Apa lagi yang aku harapkan lagi? Pada dia, pandangan dia pada aku, I'm just a stranger to him. Nothing. So, buat apa aku nak mengharap lagi kan? Tapi hati ni degil. Nak juga rasa sakit tu. Nak juga ambik tahu pasal dia.
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